Sorry, incredulous hacks, you’ve been had. As part of what is apparently a global marketing scheme that cost the company a marketing “director” salary to dream up, a series of Netlfix and Chill movie events have been announced in parks and plazas around the world this summer — including Capitol Hill’s Volunteer Park this July:

We celebrate the launch of the [Dumb App Name] app in Seattle (joinDumbAppName.com) and are transforming the Volunteer Park into the largest free open air movie theater the city has ever seen. Take your partners, bring your friends, pack your favorite snacks and grandma’s picnic blanket and enjoy the best movies and series on Netflix with hundreds of other people. Line-up voting’s gonna follow.

[Redactions] are CHS’s.

The Facebook invite for the Seattle event has, of course, spread like Volunteer Park lawn daisies over the weekend and at least one local media outlet, of course, has already jumped on the story with more concern about making sure you know what Netflix and Chill means than whether they are mindlessly promoting Dumb App Name. Of course.

But Seattle Parks tells CHS the event is not happening because organizers have not applied for the necessary permits.

Still, with a solid wireless plan — and a good friend — you can Netflix and Chill in Volunteer Park anytime you like.

Meanwhile, Capitol Hill’s slate of outdoor summer movies will again return in 2016 thanks to Three Dollar Bill Cinema (seen here!) and the Seattle Art Museum (seen here!). Not Dumb App Name.

2013: Gamera and Chill in Volunteer Park