Hey kids! Now that you know where to find the best trick-or-treating in Seattle, you’ll need a cool costume that will make all the other kids jealous. This year, we honor Capitol Hill’s own Stranger in Chief, nationally syndicated sex columnist Dan Savage with this incredibly lifelike mask cut-out. Just get your mom or dad or moms or dads to help you follow the EASY directions below!

Directions
1) Click the image above to access your full-size Dan mask
2) Print the mask on your favorite color printer. Black and white works too!
3) Cut around the edges being careful to maintain Dan’s general shape and outline.
4) Don’t forget to cut out the eye and mouth holes! Also, make sure to cut out the holes in the A and B tabs.
5) Get your hands on an elastic band or some kite string. Don’t use wire or electrical cords, please.
6) String the elastic through the holes in the A and B tabs and tie knots in the end so it doesn’t slide out.
7) Put your mask on and test for proper fit and visibility. Also, make sure you can breathe.
8) Adjust elastic as needed.

For added support and durability, glue the printed mask on cardboard before cutting out.

It’s that easy! Happy Halloween!

–j/k

(this post dedicated to C-3Po cereal and j’s parents for their negligence in both allowing him to eat C-3PO cereal and wear the cereal-box-cut-out Luke Skywalker mask around the house)